Those crazy gravel pit opponents in Cary continue to crack me up.

They have just put up an “Official” web site for the Village of Cary. It’s www.caryillinois.org.

Looks real at first glance, doesn’t it?

This is citizen guerrilla warfare at its best.

It even comes with fake ads. the fine print is worth clicking on them so you will be able to read it.

At the top of its home page is

Three pieces of mining equipment are on the masthead.

Underneath is the slogan,

Another welcome and, below,

And below that is a sign-in form for gravel pits.

“If you are a mining company and wish to mine in Cary, please fill out the form below. Someone from the Village will get back to you shortly.”

That is too much!

Besides contact information, the company is asked, “What would you like to mine?”

A drop down box lists all sorts of minerals.

It has me howling.

Read the list:

Aluminum
Amber
Anything
Bauxite
Clay
Coal
Copper
Diamonds
Dinosour bones
Dirt
Emeralds
Everything
Fluoride
Fossilized dung
Gold
Granite
Gravel
Gypsum
Iron ore
Lead
Loam
Natural gas
Nothing, I’m just digging
Peat
Peridotite
Petroleum
Plutonium
Pretty rocks
Rubies
Salt
Sand
Sea Shells
Silver
Sulfur
Uranium
Very big rocks
Worms
Zinc

OK. Maybe it’s funnier on the new web site.

Next comes the questions:

“Yearly donation to the village?”

“In addition to the above per annum, what else are you willing to donate to Cary?”

“Nothing

“A very big hole

“A murky lake

“Pollution, dust and noise”

Then, there is a disclaimer.

Here’s the first line:

“This site is political satire and parody. If you are looking for the real Village of Cary website, click here.”

You have to read the questions and answers, especially, the one about how “caryillinois.com” web site was obtained.

It will be an eye opener to other governmental entities, I’ll bet.

There’s a history of Cary. It’s a hoax, of course, but read this paragraph:

“In 1842, while digging a latrine for his burgeoning family, William (Cary) hit a pocket of gravel. The gravel was strong and the layer was vast. While running some errands in Crystal Lake, William mentioned his find to Cornelius Meyer, the owner of a local general store. Cornelius not only collected what he called “pretty rocks,” he provided gravel to locals who needed it for building supplies.”

For those of you new to the controversy, the gravel pit that wants to expand its next door Algonquin pit to a second side of Fox Trails subdivision is Meyer Materials.

There’s even a mayor’s welcome, complete with letter.

It is signed satirically by

Mayor Stan Loamal

PS. When visiting Cary, please stop by the Visitor’s Center across from the railroad station and pick up your complimentary dust mask, courtesy of Meyer Material Co.

The real village president, who insists on the title “mayor,” is Steven Lamal.

On another page is a map of Cary with every big vacant parcel showing a gravel pit.

Tourism is on another.

There is a Pit Czar ink.

The guy’s name is Chairman “Jon” Turncoatier.

An outsider like myself can only wonder what that is all about. The page seems to be making fun of the chairman of Cary’s Zoning Board of Appeals. It says that he changed his name to “Chairman” because that’s all anyone ever called him anyway.

I guarantee there is no way that I can capture everything worth looking at on this new “official” web site for the Village of Cary.

Look at it yourself.

All the images may be enlarged by clicking on them, but why not enjoy the original.

It’s so much fun.