So you are a McHenry County College Board member and your rules say that any member of the public may speak three minutes.

“Or less,” Board President George Lowe emphasizes before the public comment period starts last Monday night.

Up stands Kim Willis, a regular attendee of meetings concerning Crystal Lake’s watershed and baseball stadium.

In her most reasonable voice, here is what she said:

Good Evening. Thank you for providing this time to speak to you tonight.

In attending these meetings I have made some observations, and I want to share them with you tonight because I would like to help.

What I have observed of the board is, that during most of the meetings, everyone’s blood pressure is up. I see members fidget with papers and pens or look around to avoid eye contact when others are speaking. I see faces turning red and lips curled in or bitten. I see jaws twitch and eyes roll.

I observe board members exhibit an anxiousness to speak, in order to contradict or undermine another’s statements. I also observe members repeating their statements, because the feedback they received tells them they were not being listened to or understood.

Through these observations I recognize that, for most of the time, none of you appear to be happy, that none of you are feeling particularly satisfied or understood. I have to doubt that you are enjoying these meetings, unless you get your kicks from fighting. I would bet that this whole situation has, and is, probably taking a toll on your health.

I think you could all agree you would rather not feel this way. I think you could all agree you would like this situation to change. But, you all keep doing the same things with the same intentions, and probably wonder why the other guy won’t get with the program.

These behaviors and intentions have very real consequences. By continuing this pattern of increasing animosity and disintegrating cooperation, you put the immediate and long term wellbeing of this college at risk.

This situation will not disappear on its own. No one is up for election until at least 2009. No one is stepping down. These negative and violent behaviors will spread to more matters than your future growth plans. Is this good for anyone?

I hope you are thinking “no”.

Because this conflict has become personal in nature, I offer the idea that having a facilitator come out in the name of “board development” did not, and does not, address the basis of this situation. A different approach is needed. One approach that provides a system for communicating in a way that builds consensus and understanding is the system of Nonviolent Communication or NVC.

If you aren’t familiar, NVC is essentially a tool for expressing reactions and thoughts in both an honest and non-accusatory manor, so that instead of becoming defensive, reacting sarcastically, threatening, or resorting to other negative forms of coercion, individuals can progress on an issue at hand in a non-threatening, non-manipulative way.

There are individuals who specialize in NVC. One example is a gentleman by the name of Allen Rohlf in Chicago who is certified in NVC and works with organizations in resolving personal or organizational difficulties. He or someone like him would be able to assist you.

I bring you this information tonight because I fear that board communication and cooperation will continue to deteriorate, and I would like to see this board genuinely unified in their efforts to ensure a bright and successful future for MCC. Thank you.

It was all I could do not to laugh out loud.

Did you at least smile?