Wednesday, Dave Bachmann, the Democratic Party candidate for coroner told the first part of his involvement with cancer–diagnosis. Today, the journey continues.
I clearly remember waking the next morning, and getting into the shower.
As I washed my body, I remember looking at my hands, thinking, these hands that have served me so well in life, will soon lie lifeless in a box in the ground, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I wept for my body that had served me in life. The hands that held my children.
I’ve learned in life, to allow 24 hours to feel sorry for myself, then, I push it aside, and get moving on solutions to my situation. To do nothing when you are down, will only serve to defeat you.
I remember the first few nights at home after I was released from the hospital. I would awake in the early morning hours, in the dark, thinking, my time is coming.
I had made my will out, contacted my parents, and laid in bed….
It is interesting in that I read an article in the news paper just the other day, from a cancer patient that had the same experience of waking at night with these very thoughts. I am sure EVERYBODY who has lived what I am writing about, has lived this same phenom in the early morning hours after being diagnosed.
About 8 years prior, a friend of mine gave me the gift of the bible. I found that strange coming from my friend Steve. He was the last guy you thought would be a reader of the word of God.
But, as I have since found, our Lord does in fact work in mysterious ways. If you don’t fight it, you will see it in your life more than you think.
After about 4 nights of this waking, I decided there must be something I can do. The interesting conversation I had with a surgeon who attended me in Florida after they scoped my pancreas, told me.. Well, we can try to do a “Whipple” on you.. that is your only chance… Then he explained to me what a “Whipple” is… as one doctor friend of mine calls it.. “The Cadillac of all Surgeries”!
The surgeon described the horrors of this procedure.
Basically stated, they go in and remove most of your digestive system, and lift the tumor out untouched. But, not many who are diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer qualify to have this life saving operation. He went on to tell me that when he opens me up, if he sees, this certain issue, in his words,
“Its a show stopper,”
or if I see that,
“Its a show stopper”
.. his words, not mine.. I looked at him and I said,
“Doc, How many of these Whipple’s have you done?”
… I then in rebuttal stated,
“That’s a show stopper!”
I got up from his office table, and went home. I went on line to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston Texas.. the very best cancer center in the world…as Ranked worldwide. They have the two top Pancreatic surgeons in the World there.
I sent them an email at about 0300 in the morning.. By 10 am the same morning, I received a return email stating…
Get your films, and come on down.. your appointment is in 2 days!
Part 3 tomorrow.