Message of the Day – A Cap
While I was waiting for the Marengo Settlers Days Parade I spotted the cap you see below:
This hat with a cross was waiting for the 2012 Marengo Settlers Days Parade.
Archive for the ‘Christ’
Message of the Day – A Billboard
Look what we found on the way South this summer:
This sign was the Interstate in Georgia this summer. It has a representation of the Crucifixion, plus the words of John 3:16.
Sponsored by Eternal Life Assured, the billboard is one of those plastic wrappings, instead of paper.
I wonder if the group got a special rate because the outdoor advertising firm had not been able to rent it out.
I also wonder why there are not billboards like this in the Chicago area.
No rich Christians?
Message of the Day – A Newspaper Ad
Today’s Message of the Day is a Hobby Lobby newspaper ad. It ran in both newspapers we subscribe to, the Chicago Sun-Times and the Chicago Tribune.
Hobby Lobby wears its Christian leanings on its sleeve, so to speak.
Listen to the music in the stores and it’s inspirational.
And on Easter and Christmas in years in which the company has sufficient money, full page ads run in newspapers.
Here’s this Easter’s ad:
Hobby Lobby's 2012 Easter ad.
Message of the Day – A Tee Shirt
While I was at the Reapportionment Hearing at Marengo High School, I saw a girl with this tee shirt near the cafeteria.
"I HAVE ISSUES" the tee shirt says.
Obviously, I asked the young lady if I could take a picture.
Then I asked her what it was all about.
She told me she had been to a conference about Jesus and the message was that if one got rid of the “I,” one would no longer have issues.
Sensing there might be something on the back of the tee shirt, I asked her about that.
Here’s the message on the back:
Galatians 2:20 is quoted on the back of the tee shirt.
And the conference was sponsored by Robert Madu Ministries.
The back of the tee shirt identifies the sponsor, says, “HE SAVES US” in large letters and quotes Galatians 2:20–
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me.”
Message of the Day – A License Plate Holder
On the way back from the Liberty Trail Saturday, September 12th, demonstration on Randall Road, I saw this license plate.
I figure the owner’s name is Hal and he was born in 1942, just like me.
But, it’s the license plate frame that wins it an article here.
On top, it says,
got Christ?
Clearly, a take off on “got milk?”
On the bottom, it says,
It’s HELL without Him!
Hope After Divorce
This is the final and probably most important part of Methodist Pastor Steve Bullmer’s July sermon on marriage and divorce.
It contains an interpretation of the woman at the well story in the Book of John which was a revelation to me.
To review, the first installment explained the difference between the two different words translated “divorce” in our Bibles. The second article explains the minister’s advice to those who have never been married. The third is to those in “good” marriages. Yesterday’s was aimed at those whose spouses have left them.
Here’s today’s–on after you get divorced:
One final sermon. There is a story in Scripture where Jesus ministers to a divorced person; the fourth chapter of John. He sends his disciples into town to prepare a meal.
Jesus is waiting for someone; and then she shows up.
They talk for awhile, and then Jesus offers her living water. She says,
“I would love some of that water.”He says,
“Great, go back into town and get your husband.”“I don’t have a husband.”
Jesus says,
“I know that. You’ve been married and divorced five times, and the guy you’re presently living with is not your husband.”What do you think Jesus is going to say to her next?
“You stupid, sinful wretch.“I can’t believe you!
“You’ve been married and divorced five times!
“Don’t you get it?
“Is there something psychologically wrong with you?
“Do you not understand what I said in the Sermon on the Mount that if you do this you’re a bad person?
“Don’t you know that God hates divorce? Get out of my sight!”
Do you think that’s what he says?
Maybe you do, because people who claim to be representing Jesus and speaking for God have said those things to you.
He says none of that.
He reveals to her that he’s the Messiah.
And he demonstrates his love to her.And when she comes to believe in him he makes her the first woman preacher in the Bible and sends her back to town where she tells as many people as will listen that she has met the Savior.
And the Bible says,
“And many came to believe because of her testimony.”That’s the power of Jesus’ love to divorced people.
I put this story next to Jesus’ teaching on divorce, and you know what I see?
I see grace.
Grace. Grace for all. Help for life’s struggles.
All right, here’s the word, because I don’t want you to miss it:
If you’ve never been married and you want to get married someday, if you’re single and you want to get married again, ban the word “divorce” from your vocabulary.
Links to my articles about the sermons (containing much about his divorce) in which Pastor Bullmer used to introduce himself to the First United Methodist Church of Crystal Lake last summer follow:
One Life to Live – The Soap Opera Life of Steve Bullmer, New Methodist Minister in Crystal LakeGuiding Life – The Soap Opera Life of Steve Bullmer, New Methodist Minister in Crystal Lake
= = = = =
Services at the First United Methodist Church (at the corner of West Crystal Lake Avenue and Dole, both of which intersect with Route 14 at a stop light) are 5 PM on Saturday and 8 AM, 9:30 AM and 11 AM. The 9:30 service is the most traditional. The 11 o’clock one is the most contemporary. That’s when Pastor Steve takes off his coat.
The painting of Jesus with the woman at the well was found in Rome’s Catacombs. I found it here.
Other articles in the series can be found in the links below:
What Does the Bible Say About Divorce? Defining “Divorce”
When Your Spouse Has Left You
This is the fourth article in a series about marriage and divorce. It is based on my Methodist minister Steve Bullmer’s sermon on the topic. It was a long, comprehensive one, so I have broken it up into five parts.
The first article explains the two different meanings of the word “divorce” in the Bible.
The second is directed to those who have never been married and the third to those in “good” marriages. This piece is intended for those who mate has left them.
A word for those whose mate has left you:
You didn’t want a divorce, but one day your mate announced to you that they didn’t love you anymore … and they were leaving.And it felt like somebody came and ripped your heart out; and now you are in indescribable pain.
You have wept in my office, and I have such empathy for you.
You are feeling rejected and abandoned. And maybe you’re now in desperation mode:
“Honey, I’ll do anything to make this marriage work. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it; just tell me who you want me to be and I’ll be that person for you.But the desperation strategy just drives them further away.
So now you’re on your knees to God, telling God you’ll do anything to bring your spouse back to you.
But they don’t come back.
And now you’re mad at God.
“Why did God let this happen? Why didn’t God answer my prayer?”Well, I can give you an answer that will explain it to your head, but it won’t heal your heart.
The answer is that God doesn’t force His will on our wills; we have free will.
And the fact is your spouse made up their mind to leave you long before they told you, and the likelihood that they were going to change their mind is pretty small.
The only way they change their mind is if they pray,
“Holy Spirit, guide me; tell me what your will is.”And the Holy Spirit is invited to come into their mind and heart.
But that’s not what usually happens.
When people are feeling guilty about what they are doing they push God even further away.
Many of those people stop coming to church after they’ve made that decision; not because of something I’ve said, but because of what the Holy Spirit is trying to say to them and they’re not listening.
The only time a mate rethinks leaving is when you muster up the courage, by the power of the Holy Spirit—because this is a very hard thing to say—and you say,
“I don’t want you to leave; I love you and I want to make this marriage work. But I will not be your doormat; and I know God will carry me through this. And if you want to leave, know that’s not my desire … but I am going to let you go.”Sometimes, sometimes, that speech will make a spouse pause … and decide to come back. Clinging and holding hardly ever works.
Here’s what I know:
At those moments when you feel most abandoned and rejected, there is one Man, there is one God, who will never leave you nor forsake you.
God has promised that though there is weeping through the night, joy will come in the morning.
God says I will stand by you no matter what. I can make all things and all people new.
I have purposes and plans for you that you can’t even imagine … and if you will let me, I will fulfill those plans for you.
For I have come that you may have life, and have it abundantly. The Holy Spirit will turn things around for you after your spouse leaves you abandoned and broken-hearted.God loves you.
God has plans for you.
If you are aching today, I really, really, want you to know that.
Tomorrow, life after divorce.
Links to my articles about the sermons (containing much about his divorce) in which Pastor Bullmer used to introduce himself to the First United Methodist Church of Crystal Lake last summer follow:
One Life to Live – The Soap Opera Life of Steve Bullmer, New Methodist Minister in Crystal LakeGuiding Life – The Soap Opera Life of Steve Bullmer, New Methodist Minister in Crystal Lake
= = = = =
Services at the First United Methodist Church (at the corner of West Crystal Lake Avenue and Dole, both of which intersect with Route 14 at a stop light) are 5 PM on Saturday and 8 AM, 9:30 AM and 11 AM. The 9:30 service is the most traditional. The 11 o’clock one is the most contemporary. That’s when Pastor Steve takes off his coat.
Other articles in the series can be found in the links below:
What Does the Bible Say About Divorce? Defining “Divorce”
Temptations During a "Good" Marriage
This is the third in a series of sermonettes by Crystal Lake Methodist Minister Steve Bullmer. The first explained the difference between the two words used in the Bible which are translated into “divorce” in English. The second was addressed to those who have never been married.
This one is aimed at those with “good marriages.”
Second, a word to married people—people with good marriages, people with average marriages, and people with below average marriages.
My word to you is a simple and clear one:
Divorce is a sin.It attacks; it destroys; it is always a tragedy.
I want you to think about divorce in this way—it attacks your marriage.
I want you to think about divorce in this way because sooner or later every person in this room will think about divorce as a possible solution to the problems you’re going through. Like the couple in this clip from the movie, “Fireproof.”
The idea of divorce, like the idea of adultery, will tempt you and test you.
Someone other than your spouse will come along, and they will make your heart flutter; and now you’re fantasizing what it would be like to be with that person instead of your spouse.
And maybe your relationship is challenged and strained right now, and you can’t get that other person out of your head; and now you’re thinking,
“Well, maybe I don’t really love my mate. Maybe I never really loved them. She doesn’t understand me. He will never change.”And now you’re comparing the spouse with all their warts and shortcomings to this fantasy soul mate. And now you’re thinking,
“I really love this other person. Maybe divorce is a good idea.”And you’re not thinking about what next Christmas is going to be like when your children are with your ex-spouse but you’re not there. Or how many birthdays and soccer games and school plays you’re going to miss because you exited the marriage.
And you’re not thinking about what happens when your ex-spouse remarries and now someone else is spending more time with your kids than you are; and that fantasy soul mate you left your spouse for—they turn out to have more warts and shortcomings than your first spouse did.
So if your marriage is rocky and you’re thinking divorce will solve your problems, think again:
It will only compound your problems.Yes, right after you separate or divorce there is a sense of relief.
You’re relieved that you’re not coming home to fighting every day; and it feels so good to have finally made a decision after agonizing on the fence for so long.
All of a sudden a whole lot of stress goes out of your life.
But guess what.
It doesn’t last.
Divorce ends a marriage, it doesn’t solve a problem. The problems are still there.
And they only get worse.
You think you couldn’t communicate when you were married?
Try communicating when everyone is hurt and mad.
You think your spouse didn’t understand you when you were married?
They understand you even less when you’re divorced.
Your income goes down and your expenses go up.
You’re an emotional wreck; you’re a spiritual wreck.
Sometimes the present pain and dysfunction outweigh the negative consequences, and we’ll talk about that in a minute.
Remember, this is only sermon two.
If you’re sermon four, hang in there.
But for most people your life, your children’s life, and your ex-spouse’s life gets worse instead of better when you get divorced.
This is a spiritual struggle.
There are times when your spouse is going to be a jerk.
Really.
There are times in the ebb and flow of your relationship that you will fall out of love.
There are times when your marriage will be painful and you will be tempted and tested.
And the challenge for you is to persevere; don’t give up.
I don’t know a single couple who made it to their fiftieth wedding anniversary where there weren’t times when the wife wanted to strangle her husband, and the husband thought about walking away.
But they hung in there. And the miracle is when those same people will tell you that after fifty years they are more in love than they were on their wedding day.
Try again.
Go to counseling.
Men, there is nothing manly about refusing to talk to a counselor about your marital problems.
It is not an admission of weakness or failure.
It is an act of wisdom and courage to say,
“I’m over my head and out of solutions. What I’m doing isn’t working. I need help.”Guys who put their wife’s well-being and their children’s well-being ahead of their egos are heroes in my book.
Links to my articles about the sermons (containing much about his divorce) in which Pastor Bullmer used to introduce himself to the First United Methodist Church of Crystal Lake last summer follow:
One Life to Live – The Soap Opera Life of Steve Bullmer, New Methodist Minister in Crystal LakeGuiding Life – The Soap Opera Life of Steve Bullmer, New Methodist Minister in Crystal Lake
= = = = =
Services at the First United Methodist Church (at the corner of West Crystal Lake Avenue and Dole, both of which intersect with Route 14 at a stop light) are 5 PM on Saturday and 8 AM, 9:30 AM and 11 AM. The 9:30 service is the most traditional. The 11 o’clock one is the most contemporary. That’s when Pastor Steve takes off his coat.
Other articles in this series can be found at the links below:
What Does the Bible Say About Divorce? Defining “Divorce”
If You Haven’t Been Married
Crystal Lake’s Methodist minister Steve Bullmer has drawn on his divorce for sermons July a year ago (links below) and last month. Yesterday, I put up the distinctions between the two words translated “divorce” in English Bibles. You may be surprised at the difference, which seems to be glossed over in most translations.
In today’s mini-sermon, Bullmer talks to those who haven’t married yet, but might like to do so someday:
For those of you who are not married, and want to be married somewhere down the road; children, youth, I want you to listen to this.This is what I think the biblical teaching says to you:
Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you’re supposed to take it very seriously.But it’s hard to sign up for a lifetime commitment and know that you’re going to be able to keep that commitment for the rest of your life … if you’ve only known that other person for a few weeks.
Now yes, I know couples who knew on the first date that they were meant for each other, and it’s a joy when that turns out to be true.
But for the vast majority of us, we need a lot more time to really get to know that person—get to know their strengths of character and their shortcomings and their failures.
You need to look with eyes wide open at the person you are dating.
When we are dating we tend to overlook the other person’s shortcomings and failures; we tend to think,
“Oh, it will be better; I can live with that; my love will change them”….It doesn’t work that way.
Here’s what I learned—the hard way:
There are a whole lot of nice people in the world … the vast majority of whom I have no business being married to!And:
Lyrics to rock and roll love songs and plotlines to romantic comedies are poor guides for choosing your life partner!Get to know the other person well before you decide to marry them.
And here’s the main thing you need to know about that person:
You can’t change them.What you see is what you get.
If you don’t love the person as they are, then who exactly are you in love with?
An idealized person that doesn’t exist!
Address the red flags before the marriage; it’s a serious problem when you don’t see eye to eye on your core values and the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the red flags, and not your raging hormones. If you don’t deal with the red flags, if you just sweep them under the rug and think they will work themselves out later, you are wrong.
And guess what?
If you marry that person without talking about the big issues between you, they think you have accepted them for who they are, as they are … and that big, false assumption will come back to bite you sooner rather than later. What are you going to do? Five years down the road say,
“Oh, by the way, I’ve never liked that about you, but I just didn’t say anything about it; and you’ve been irritating the heck out of me.”And one more thing:
Don’t let “divorce” be a part of your vocabulary.Don’t think it; don’t speak it.
I know some of you who use the word “divorce” as a weapon, as a threat:
“Well, let’s just get a divorce.”Understand this:
Words have power.First you think it; then you begin to say it; then the day comes that you act on it.
Take the word “divorce” out of your vocabulary.
Links to my articles about the sermons (containing much about his divorce) in which Pastor Bullmer used to introduce himself to the First United Methodist Church of Crystal Lake last summer follow:
One Life to Live – The Soap Opera Life of Steve Bullmer, New Methodist Minister in Crystal LakeGuiding Life – The Soap Opera Life of Steve Bullmer, New Methodist Minister in Crystal Lake
= = = = =
Services at the First United Methodist Church (at the corner of West Crystal Lake Avenue and Dole, both of which intersect with Route 14 at a stop light) are 5 PM on Saturday and 8 AM, 9:30 AM and 11 AM. The 9:30 service is the most traditional. The 11 o’clock one is the most contemporary. That’s when Pastor Steve takes off his coat.
Other parts of this series can be found at the links below:
What Does the Bible Say About Divorce? Defining “Divorce”
What Does the Bible Say About Divorce? Defining "Divorce"
I can relate to my Pastor Steve Bullmer because he, like I, went through one of those divorces from hell.
When he first came to the First United Methodist Church of Crystal Lake in July, 2008, he preached a series of sermons based on the titles of TV soap operas. Lnks to my articles on them are at the bottom. The first three relate to his first marriage and divorce.
In his mid-July sermon this year, Bullmer talked about the woman who came to the well in mid-day in order to avoid the other women in the village. She had been married five times. Jesus talked to her. Bullmer provides an interpretation of the story that I have heard no where else.
It is one of hope and provides concrete evidence that one who has been divorced can have a fulfilling lift after divorce.
But, first, Bullmer answers the question:
“What does the Bible say about divorce?”
To do that he goes back to the two words used to refer to divorce. They do not have the same meaning.
That’s what addressed in the first part of the sermon that is found below:
PASTOR STEVEN BULLMER
SERMON SERIES: HELP FOR LIFE’S STRUGGLES
“LOVE BETRAYED: COPING WITH DIVORCE”
July 18-19, 2009
Matthew 5:31-32
This week’s extended study guide is an invitation for you to do your own Bible study on almost all of the passages in Scripture that deal with divorce. I am inviting you to think for yourselves; to think carefully and critically about what you believe about divorce … what the Bible actually says about divorce.
I want you to dig into this for yourselves because everyone here today, somewhere along the way, is going to need to know what you believe about this.
You will have a family member, a friend, a parent, a brother, a sister, a child who is going to talk about getting divorced.
We have to be clear:
- What do we think about this issue?
- What do we think God thinks about this issue?
It’s a challenge to preach about divorce; because there are different people here today who need to hear different messages about divorce.
Some of you just need to hear about God’s love, and His mercy, and His healing.
But if I give you a healthy dose of God’s mercy and grace, will I be giving others of you who are struggling in your marriage permission to give up; will I be pushing you over the edge … when what you need is a message about perseverance?
And while there are some who need to persevere through the tough times, there are others who are in marriages that are so dysfunctional, that by preaching on perseverance I’m just giving them a huge dose of guilt and prolonging an anguish that God doesn’t will for their lives. There are landmines all around when we talk about divorce; and the potential to hurt a lot of people is huge when we bring up this subject.
So the temptation is to not bring up the subject, and that’s what a lot of pastors do. I mean, when was the last time you heard a United Methodist preacher preach on divorce?
But if the church doesn’t talk about it where are you going to get your guidance?
And so many of you are struggling with this; and we are looking at the Sermon on the Mount for help for life’s struggles.
So with a pastor’s heart, and as a person who went through divorce myself, I come to you today to talk with you about real answers to real questions about a real problem–divorce.
The only way I can see to negotiate the minefield is to preach four sermons on the subject.
Now, don’t worry, they are all short!
But I want to try to speak to all of you who are at different places in your life.
So please understand what’s about to happen: I will preach the first sermon, and it may not be directed at you. And the words of that first sermon might be hurtful to you if you think it’s directed at you. But it’s not.
Gospel is always “Good News,” so if the message sounds like bad news to you instead of good news, that’s probably not the message intended for you.
So hang in there. Listen to the second message … or the third message … or the fourth message.
My goal is healing and hope; I am not a tour guide for guilt trips. By the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit, one message among four will be the words that God wants to implant in your heart.
I wanted to begin by examining everything the Bible has to say about divorce, but that turned this into a forty-minute sermon!
So the Bible study is in your study guide. I really want you to read and pray through that this week. There is surprising information there.
The Bible doesn’t say what most of us think it says about divorce.
In a nutshell, here’s what the Bible teaches.
God is not fond of divorce … but provision is made for it.
Jesus says marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment … but the apostles make provision for when the ideal cannot be achieved; because what Jesus teaches about divorce is a hard teaching, and for some people this will be nearly impossible to do.
Let’s look at today’s passage from the Sermon on the Mount and hear what Jesus says about divorce. Matthew 5:31-32: It has been said,
“’Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.”
Let’s talk about this for a minute. I find it a little confusing why, in the midst of all the passage on forgiveness that Pastor Heath so ably walked us through last weekend, this is the one instance where forgiveness is wrong, you can’t get divorced, and divorce is ramped up to the sin of permanent adultery.
Isn’t that inconsistent?
I don’t love my cheating wife anymore; okay. But some guy comes along who does love her, and appreciates her, and wants to minister to her and care for her and encourage her—all the things we’re supposed to do in a marriage and I just won’t or can’t any more; but if they get married they’re committing adultery? And if I find my soul mate I can’t marry her because that makes me an adulterer? Does that make sense to you?
I really wrestled with this one when I was considering divorcing my first wife. I’ve told you the story. (See links below.)
This was the worst time of my life:
- My marriage was a train wreck, and
- my relationship with my kids was going down the toilet, and
- parishioners and friends alike are berating me for considering this, and
- the Methodist clergy colleague in town starts a rumor that I’m having an affair with the Sunday school superintendent, and
- my soon-to-be ex-wife is worshiping at another church—a church that takes a dim view on divorce—and
- one day some guy calls me on the phone looking for pastoral care, so we make an appointment and he comes to my office, and it turns out he’s a guy from my ex-wife’s church and what he really wants is to beat me over the head with all the Bible passages that condemn divorce, and how can I call myself a Christian much less a pastor if I’m considering divorcing my wife….
This is my life!
All I’ve got left is God!
And I really want to be right with God. But I’m not sure I can be right with God and get a divorce….
But this marriage is killing me.
And I will confess to you that I was considering suicide because I’m thinking that the only way to stop the pain … is to escape to heaven where none of these people can torment me anymore.
And I’m clinging to my relationship with God by my fingernails … but I’m afraid if I get divorced then I’ll lose that, too … that’s what other Christians are telling me, and I’m afraid they are right.
And then, in another church’s newsletter, is this insert:
“Divorce, the Law, and Jesus.”
The church is UCC; the author of the article is Baptist. And with fear and trembling I read the article. This is what I learned:
Many men in biblical times married more than one wife, and without bothering about divorce.
If he did not divorce her, what did a man in those days do with the first wife?
He put her away.
The word for that in Hebrew is “shalach.”
It is different from the Hebrew word for divorce, which is “keriythuwth.”
Keriythuwth literally means excision, a cutting of the marital bonds; legal divorce, as commanded in Deuteronomy 24, permitted subsequent marriage.
Shalach—“to put away”—described when wives were not divorced by their husbands, just abandoned emotionally and financially as they gave their hearts to another woman.
They were “put away,” available if needed or wanted again; “put away,” reduced to unwanted property. They were “put away” in favor of another, but not given a divorce and the right to marry again.
It was a cruel tradition, and it was contrary to Jewish law; but men did it … and they got away with it.
Then Jesus came, and he hated this tradition as much as God did.
In the New Testament the Greek word for “put away” is “apoluo.” The Greek word for divorce is “apostasion.” Apostasion is the technical term for a certificate of divorce.
Apoluo, “putting away,” was not technically a divorce, even though the words were often used synonymously.
In that age of total male domination, men often took additional wives, and did not provide written release, required by the Jewish law, when they abandoned their wives and married others.
If a man married another woman, so what?
If a man “put away” (apoluo) his wife without bothering with a written divorce, who was going to object?
The woman?
Well, Jesus had some objections!
Jesus loved mistreated women!
He told them that this earth would go up in smoke before the law requiring a written bill of divorce should fail.
And he said, when you put away a wife (without written divorce), and marry another (while still legally married), you are guilty of adultery.
Moreover, she who is put away is in real trouble. She has no divorce papers.
If she marries again she would, literally, commit adultery.
The distinction between “put away” and “divorce,” between apoluo and apostasion is critical.
Apoluo left women were enslaved, with no rights and no recourse.
They were abandoned emotionally and financially.
Apostasion ended marriage and permitted a legal subsequent marriage.
In the Sermon on the Mount, and Matthew 19, and Mark 10, and Luke 16, it is the word apoluo that Jesus uses—eleven times in these passages.
In every passage he forbade apoluo, putting away. He never forbade giving apostasion, written divorce.
In fact, he demanded obedience to the law.
What Jesus is objecting to is the dehumanization and abandonment of women.
In the first century human rights were for men only.
Jesus changed that! Grace does abound in Jesus Christ!
So what does this teach me about divorce?
Divorce is a privilege, provided as a corrective for an intolerable situation.
It is a privilege which can be, and often is, abused.
In most cases, divorce is not a pretty picture.
It leaves you feeling lonely, rejected, and like a complete failure at the one thing you wanted to get right in your life.
Your self-esteem is crushed, relatives and friends criticize and abandon you, child care becomes a problem, property settlements are contentious—this is what confronts the person going though a divorce.
Divorce is still only what it was in Jesus’ day—a partial solution to a serious and cruel situation; and it is always a tragedy!
We might be able to prevent some divorces by tightening our divorce laws or by religious prohibitions against divorce, but those actions aren’t going to prevent broken marriages.
Believe me; the marriage fails first, long before the divorce proceedings begin.
The high divorce rate is just an indicator of our high bad marriage rate.
And to correct this we will have to do more than preach against divorce, sounding more like the judgmental John the Baptist than Jesus.
Simply preaching judgmentally against marriage doesn’t solve anything.
In fact, it makes things worse.
When couples stay together only because of the shame of getting divorced, or because the church prohibits it, or “for the sake of the children,” the tragedy compounds.
Disastrous marital triangles, domestic cruelty, child abuse, murder, and suicides are some of the documented consequences of marriages which had failed but were not terminated.
I shall never forget the young man who put a gun barrel in his mouth and ended his marriage that way … because his church forbid him from divorcing.
All right, the four sermons I want to offer to you, very briefly.
Tomorrow, Pastor Steve Bullmer’s message to those not yet married who want to be married sometime in their life.
Below are the links to my articles on Pastor Bullmer’s introductory sermons, the first three of which concentrate on his failed marriage:
One Life to Live – The Soap Opera Life of Steve Bullmer, New Methodist Minister in Crystal LakeGuiding Life – The Soap Opera Life of Steve Bullmer, New Methodist Minister in Crystal Lake
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Services at the First United Methodist Church (at the corner of West Crystal Lake Avenue and Dole, both of which intersect with Route 14 at a stop light) are 5 PM on Saturday and 8 AM, 9:30 AM and 11 AM. The 9:30 service is the most traditional. The 11 o’clock one is the most contemporary.
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If You Haven’t Been Married
