Allan Showalter has me laughing out loud again.
Posted on his “Heck of a Guy” blog is an article entitled,
He features my photograph of the flag (click to enlarge), taken that day when I filed my petitions to run for Republican Precinct Committeeman in Algonquin Townships Precinct 7.
(Yes, I’m ready to fess up. I haven’t seen my precinct committeeman since I lost the post in the 2000 election and I don’t think precincts should have absentee committeemen—too Chicago.)
Showalter explains his journey into McHenry County things symbolic started with Tina Hill’s Committee’s decision, ratified by the county board, to design a new county seal.
The requirements of the seal are that it
- must be “unique to McHenry County”
- must be “readily identifiable”
- should be inspiring and imaginative but certainly must not be “boring”
- should “reflect the character of the rapidly growing county where farms and new housing developments coexist”
- should incorporate the elements of the McHenry County Flag, which apparently include “the county name and its year of incorporation along with images of a cow, an ear of corn and a fish jumping above a waterway as the sun sets behind it.
And notes,
“I am finding it difficult to imagine any scene featuring a fish, an ear of corn, and a cow, all jumping above a waterway that doesn’t look silly, regardless of what kind of sunset is in the background.”
But in Showalter’s most recent article, he is into flags, not seals.
He looked for a flag on the county web site, but couldn’t find one.
Then, he found the one I published as a “Message of the Day.”
Looking at the flag, Showalter notes,
”In the lower left section of the flag, a cow grazes on the barren white field of the the flag, oblivious to the immediate presence of what must be the world’s largest ear of corn, measuring more than twice the size of the cow.
“I suppose an alternative interpretation is that McHenry County is known for its miniature Holsteins. In either case, I must get out more. In the ten years we’ve lived in the County of McHenry, I have yet to view a mobile home sized ear of corn or a tiny bovine.”
The “Heck of a Guy” blog entry continues by noting that my brief “Message of the Day” did not go into much detail about the other three quadrants.
”Happily, my undergrad degree in English Lit and my psychiatric training have enabled me to spot swarms of symbols, whether they exist or not.
“For example, what’s with those ‘16 stars on [green] [there’s a footnote noting that I wrote the stripes were red and that’s probably because I am red-green colorblind] horizontal stripes?’ I’m guessing that there is one star for each township in the County, but maybe it’s the age of consent in this jurisdiction. Or it the number of people who can correctly identify the McHenry County Flag.
“Does the white field of the flag represents peace? Purity? Innocence? Snow? Doesn’t a white flag signal surrender?
“Are the green stripes a sign of eco-consciousness or is its symbolism more traditional, indicating agriculture, fertility, or the Muslim religion?
“But the most significant faux pas may be the last sentence in his post, where Cal asks, ‘And, by the way, what’s with the ragged nature of this flag, found in front of the Administration Building?’
“Cal, Cal, Cal, Cal, …
”Why would county officials fly a beat up, dirty, tattered flag in front of their primary location? It just doesn’t make sense.
“Obviously, the tatters are an intentional element of the flag’s design, a sort of Grunge style symbol. And there are so many things such an unraveling could represent. For example, the list of expectations for the new seal and, one assumes, the county flag includes ‘[will] reflect the character of the rapidly growing county where farms and new housing developments coexist.’ That issue doesn’t appear to be covered elsewhere on the flag so perhaps the ragged edges along with the grime, stains, and the generally disreputable condition of the banner are somehow representative of that coexistence thing.”
So, what’s Showalter’s contribution to the cause?
He photoshops the flag to get rid of the tattered look and clean it up generally, polish the flag pole and make the sky more blue.
What more could one ask…except a poem by Carl Sandburg, entitled,
“Hope is a Tattered Flag.”
I’ll bet McHenry County officials are pleased that Showalter only does satire as a hobby.